Tonight I was driving home pretty late from visiting with some church friends in Vacherie and I was listening to the new Audrey Assad CD, Fortunate Fall, when I had mini revelations and made so many connections in my brain that I just had to share. I know I will be jumping back and forth a lot, but bear with me, this is just how my mind functions...
This whole week has been a wonderful emotional roller coaster as I have been journeying with my sorority during their Recruitment process. Recruitment is a time where girls who are interested in joining a sorority get to meet each sorority on campus. The first night is Philanthropy night, where they learn about the service and philanthropy and make a little craft for the girls to donate to whatever cause. The next night is Slideshow where the girls see what the active members do throughout the year. The last night is Preference where the girls have to make their final decision and they get to hear personal testimonies from some active members. Then Bid Day when make their official choice and they get their bids and meet the chapter. It's really a lot more than that, but this was just to give you a short summary of it for clarification purposes.
Phi Mu has been my home for what feels like a lifetime, but has only been about a little over a year and a half since I officially became a member. It has always had a major impact on my life, but I had never had the "two by four" moment (two by four moment: when something finally hits you and it makes so much since that it's like you got in the face by a two by four. wow, that it sounds worse than it is..). This Summer, the little wonders and joys of Phi Mu have been revealed to me by my peers and especially the comparisons of Phi Mu and my personal faith journey. With discerning Mission life, the Phi Mu Creed has played such a big part of my prayer journey.
Tonight while I was driving home I noticed how bright and beautiful the moon was! I wanted to get a really good look at it, but the trees kept getting in the way. As weird as it sounds, I was thinking about how God reveals beauty slowly. If he revealed beauty all at once, it wouldn't be a mystery and it simply wouldn't be as beautiful. So as I was catching little glimpses of the moon, I was anticipating on how beautiful it would be once I saw the moon in all it's glory. Now, with Phi Mu on the brain, I thought of Recruitment. If the Phi Mu chapter would reveal all of it's beauty and mystery in one night of recruitment, the potential new members would be so overwhelmed that they couldn't take it in. Beauty is revealed slowly. When I went through the recruitment process for the first time, I had never thought of it in that way. It was just 3 nights of explaining different facets of Phi Mu. When in reality, each night is a slow revelation of the beauty of a bond that simply cannot be explained until you live it out. Just as in the church. The beauty of the church cannot be revealed or explained in one sitting or even in 3 nights...you have to live it out. Then, you can see that with each day, you learn more and more and the mysteries are revealed. Technically there will always be some mysteries, but that's what makes life fun. But the point is, that beauty is revealed slowly.
Each night of recruitment our creed is somewhat introduced to the potential new members, but it is a slow process. So by the final day of recruitment, when they hear the entire chapter say it as one body, they can really take it in. They can understand that each line has a deeper meaning, That service and God is at our core, that our Creed defines us as women and really as human beings. If someone meets a Phi Mu and has an interaction with her, they should know that she stands out from the crowd, that she is compassionate, that she is selfless, that she is a servant, that she radiates joy, that she is a Phi Mu lady.
When I was writing my application for Family Missions Company, the Phi Mu Creed was on my mind and heart. It hit me that our Creed is literally my life. It is a missionary Creed. "To lend to those less fortunate a helping hand. To think of God as a protector and guide of us all." Literally every line of the creed is beaming from my heart.
I have met a lot of people in my short twenty years of living who have shaped me and molded me and broke me and pieced me back together. But Phi Mu right now, in this moment, is exactly what I needed... their values and ideals are an echo of the church, in my opinion. Knowing that I had my family's support, my church family's support, and my Phi Mu family's support helped clarify my mind to answer YES confidently to God's call.
From my point of view of Recruitment this past week, little beauties were being revealed to me in such a different and special way. Each line of the songs and the creed spoke to the depths of my little heart. I was moved so much that I began to cry. Just as when I am in mass and things finally click and the beauty and mystery and majesty of God is slowly being revealed, it can bring you to tears.
From the drive, to the music, to the moon, to my sisters in Phi Mu, to my family, to my calling, to my God... the beauties have been revealed and everything is starting to make sense. If God would have revealed all of this to me in one day, I might have died of joy. But revealing His love slowly, I am able to take in the wonders of the world with great anticipation and peace.
"Long as you are in my heart, we'll never say goodbye"
Love in our very special bond.