Since moving to Camiguin I have really been missing my
family. I didn’t expect to have such a rough transition, but I miss those
fools. Once arriving on the Island, I have been sick and hormonal which in turn
makes me real emotional. Through all of this the Lord has really been speaking
to me. My prayer time in missions has been phenomenal. The Lord has truly shown
me that this is the exact place I need to be, that I will suffer, that he will
never leave me and He will take care of me. He needs me to put all my faith, my
trust, my worries, my fears, my emotions, my doubts, my joys, and all of my
life into His hands. He doesn’t just want some of me - He wants all of me. I
realize that I am holding on to some baggage from the past that is literally
weighing me down and now that I am across the planet, I can’t complain to my
family or my friends… I have to unload these bags on God (which I’m pretty sure
is how He wanted it in the first place – bazinga!). I really have always liked
the idea of letting God be my provider and relying on Him for literally all of
my needs, but now that I am actually living it – woah, so overwhelming. It’s
overwhelmingly beautiful and awesome and breathtaking and wild. He knows that
I’m tired and that my stomach is ever so slowly adjusting to new Filipino foods
and I’m hot and I absolutely hate lizards…but He also knows that I love
sleeping on the floor, I love coffee, I love laying in the hammock on our
bamboo porch with a book and an ocean breeze, I love the water, I love the
joyous and precious Filipino people, I love my hysterical team, I love laughing
so hard with them that I trickle a little bit (or maybe even a lot), and I love
when I can clearly know He is taking to me when I read the Bible. The Lord has
blessed me!!! He has sent me to an Island paradise amongst people who are so
accepting and loving and so open to know the truth and to learn about Jesus.
Even though my head wants to complain about all of my “sufferings” – my heart
wants to leap with joy every time I wake up in this place. This place that the
Lord has called me to by name! When He knit me in my mother’s womb He destined
me to be in this place at this time serving his people in the way my gifts can
be used for the salvation of souls for His kingdom. Praise the Lord!
This week my team and I have been talking a lot about our
humanness. We all desire to be these wise and honorable young women who are on
the straight and narrow path to sainthood, but we realize that we are also human
and hormonal 20-year-old girls. The Lord has really been speaking to us
directly about our humanness. Yesterdays reading from 1 Corinthians 2:1-5 was
soooo spot on to our exact feelings and prayers this week. I personally had
been feeling an attack from the devil this week. I could feel the evil one
telling me that I am not smart enough or good enough to teach people anything
in the Philippines. This had me questioning what on earth am I doing here? I
have never moved away from home, I have a terrible memory which makes me feel
like I can’t teach anyone things that I don’t even know, and simply I just
don’t have the wisdom and knowledge or the eloquent captivating speech to get a
crowd pumped up about the Gospel. LIES. These are lies from the devil. In that
bible passage (1 Cor 2:1-5) Paul says, “When I came to you, brothers,
proclaiming the mystery of God, I did not come with sublimity of words or of
wisdom. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus
Christ, and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear and much
trembling, and my message and my proclamation were not with persuasive words of
wisdom, but with a demonstration of spirit and power, so that your faith might
rest not on human wisdom but on the power of God.” BOOM.
I literally know NOTHING except that I love Jesus and He
speaks to me through scripture and I want to go to Heaven and I want everyone
else to come with me. This week I have really felt my weaknesses and I for sure
have lots of fears and I think I may have trembled once or twice…but praise the
Lord, this means I am a HUMAN BEING – just like Paul! My team and I - we’re human
beings. Ahh, such a relief!
Please continue to pray for my team and I as we begin our
first full week of ministry. This month we will continue getting our house
together and unpacking and really making our new home feel like home and we
will also be praying about what ministries we feel called to. We started a
novena to St. Anne a few days ago so we can find a housekeeper so it would be
great if you could pray for that too! We would love to find a woman in need who
can teach us how to cook Filipino foods, shop in the market, how to wash
clothes efficiently and hopefully teach us the dialect!
We’re still not sure if there is a postal system here, it’s
looking like there is not…but we will keep checking!
Thank you for your prayers and you will always be in mine!
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