Even though I have had so much support during my time home, I do have the occasional, "Breana, why are you leaving College and the comfort of home and all of these good (and holy) things? You are wasting your life."
Why thank you, I am wasting my life, glad you noticed.
But let me explain what "wasting my life" means to me…
In the past few months I have felt a deep connection to the woman breaking the alabaster jar over Jesus' feet. (Matthew 26:6-13; Luke 7:36-50; Mark 14:3-9)
Quick summary, she was listening in on a banquet Jesus was having at a Pharisee's house; it was not very unusual to have a woman listening in. (Pause story: fun fact that I learned from the late Fulton Sheen is that a woman in that time who was ashamed would wear her hair down. another fact, expensive perfumes would be carried around someones neck.) The woman was a sinner and Simon did not want Jesus to see that a sinner was in the presence of Jesus. Ashamed of her past, she began to weep at the feet of Jesus…then she was a little embarrassed so she dried her tears with her hair (because it was down). Thennnn, she doesn't just slowly pour the perfumed oil onto Jesus, oh no. She completely breaks the jar and lets all of the expensive perfume out. (Another fact: breaking the alabaster jar into a coffin was a tradition at a burial in that time.)
She doesn't just give a little bit to Jesus and saves the rest for herself. She wastes it all. All of her expensive perfume. Wasted. Everything she had. Wasted. Wasted for the King.
We should learn from this woman to give, to waste, to surrender. Not just a little bit of our life and not just a little bit of our money and not just a little bit of our perfume, but EVERYTHING. Our entire life. Everything.
That's scary…right? It's a little terrifying to give every single thing to the Lord. Why? Because we are not in control anymore. We give Him complete control.
Giving the Lord complete control will ROCK YOUR WORLD. His plans for your life are infinitely better than your own. My plan was to go on with my life, finish college in 4 years, live with my parents until I got married and bought a house, and work at the Diocese or something super Catholic. These are all good and holy things, I'm sure, but these are not the Lord's plans!! These were my plans and my parents plans!! I never gave the Lord ANY say so in my life and what He wanted my plans to be. I would pray, "Lord, what is your plan for me? What is my vocation? Jesus, I want you to tell me as soon as possible when will I get a house and when will you send me a man and where I will work and what is my salary and when will my parents let me out of this house."
But dude, I never gave Him a chance to say - CALM DOWN, I have something better. You want to waste your life? Do you want Me to be the cause of your joy? Do you want Me to fulfill the desires of your heart? Then walk out onto the water and I will take you. I will take you to the ends of the earth where you will have nothing, but you will have EVERYTHING you need.
I am totally dependent on Jesus every second of the day to take care of me and guess what? HE DOES! I want for nothing, I need nothing - He has given me everything! All I had to do was completely waste my life for Him.
All I'm asking is this… Do you want to go on the biggest adventure of your life-for the rest of your life? Then wake up, walk on the water, and give him everything.
The Lord has bigger, better, and more beautiful plans for your life than you could ever imagine. Stop taking control and stop thinking you are in charge. Waste your life for Jesus.